I carry the weight of all on my shoulders. I am the caretaker of my family, friends, and coworkers, But who carries me? Mercy tries, but her struggles are real and she doesn’t have the strength. I need to unload some of the weight from my shoulders and carry myself.
Category Archives: Therapy
I’ve never been in danger of being fired before not even remotely close to thinking my job is in jeopardy. I have always been the most trusted and reliable employee at every job I’ve ever had. And now I’m just waiting until Monday to find out for sure that I’ve been fired. It started a few months ago with minor mistakes. I had finally proved that I was human. Then a month ago my boss said I’m making too many mistakes. I buckled down and made the biggest effort in my life to be perfect. Then two weeks ago I made a huge mistake but corrected it before it could effect my boss. She said that was my last chance. This week she was gone and I was given a ton of tasks and the time to turn over a new leaf. The week was going well and I had most of the tasks complete. Then this morning I couldn’t find my work keys. When I was hired I was told that losing keys would get me fired. I retraced my steps. I have never lost keys, let alone work keys. I had to call her and she said she had no words for me and that I was to meet her at the office Monday morning and she would handle everything else from then on. Two hours later she pulled my email access. I’m fired but I have to wait til Monday to be told I’m fired.
I lost Midge, my last of three cats, back in March, and haven’t slept a full night since. I have so many dreams now, and wake up after/during most of them. I never used to wake up so many times each night or remember my dreams when I awoke. I was one of those obnoxious people who could fall asleep in minutes and sleep through a riot.
I always called Midge “My Sleeping Pill.” She worked better than Ambien. She would corral me into the bedroom, wait for me to lay down, climb on top of me, and I’d be asleep in less than 5 minutes. It didn’t matter where or when she climbed on me, I would fall asleep in minutes. Continue reading
I have often said that I am the luckiest woman in the world. I’m not lucky because of the good things that happen to me, but because of the REALLY bad things that don’t happen to me. I don’t know why I am still alive. That Wednesday should have been my last day…
It’s been a year and a half. I feel so guilty for not writing. In 2014 I thought I would end up writing every day. I could see myself developing my website, getting a theme, reading all the different ways to make money with my blog. And then on April 8, 2014, I quit. I didn’t taper off. I just stopped. It’s what I do. Continue reading
I keep thinking “this will be the first post of my life of blogging every day!”
Unfortunately, that only lasts for about 4 days and then nothing for three weeks, then BLAM, back to blogging. I guess I could call blogging, my time of the month…much better definition for that phrase than the norm.
So until I start blogging more often, my followers will have to be satisfied by my phases of the moon.
I’d apologize, but as my favorite werewolf, Adam Hauptman from the Mercy Thompson Series by Patricia Briggs would say, ” I don’t think an apology will do, Mercy. Because an apology implies that you wouldn’t do it again. And, under the circumstances, you wouldn’t do anything differently, would you?”