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Walking on the Moon

What giant step did you take where you hoped your leg wouldn’t break? Was it worth it, were you successful in walking on the moon, or did your leg break?

There have been a lot of giant steps for me in the last 16 years with Mercy.  In fact, many people along the way kept waiting for my leg to get broken, it never did.

Everyone in my life were just like many of the viewers on Earth of the Moon Landing.  They had no clue what the Moon was really like, so they just let their imagination run wild.  They used their own experiences to color what they saw.  They couldn’t see what the surface was actually like.

Why do people judge everything with there own eyes?  We all do it.  How often do we see the actions of a complete stranger and make a lot of assumptions about what is really going on?  I know I do it all the time.  Maybe it is entertainment for us.

But why do we do it to our friends too?  I think we do it to be right.  To be able to say, “I knew that was going to happen.” Continue reading



Filed under Daily Prompts, Mercy & Me

Stay Positive

Stay positive has always been my motto, even when I’ve been gripped by cynicism and sarcasm.  I’ve always tried to keep a forward thinking positive outlook.  I have to.  The present isn’t a bed of roses most of the time.

It’s harder to stay positive when things are moderately shitty, than when they are really shitty.  Like when Mercy was dying in the hospital, I was permanently optimistic.  I refused to get negative.  I knew that my positive outlook and up attitude could be heard/felt by Mercy, even when she was completely unconscious and it was calling to her to get better.  And she did get better.

But now it is hard to stay positive.  Life is great in some respects, Mercy’s health is getting better.  She is still in line to get the surgery to undo the ostomy.  we like our apartment and are keeping it nice.  Mercy has even started throwing pottery again after getting her new wheel last month.  So what could be bad? Continue reading

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Filed under Mercy & Me, Rants, Therapy

Growing Up At Any Age

I LOVE Mercy.  I have always stood with her in all her trials in tribulations for the last 16 years.  Does that mean that I haven’t wanted to strangle her at times?  Of course not!  We have a passionate relationship.

We are not the couple who broadcast our passion.  You know these people.  They have their fights in the grocery store in front of you in line.  Or they invite you over to hang out, only to find out that they really wanted a referee.

We don’t hide our troubles, but we keep them off the headlines.  Close friends know what we fight about, but don;t have to witness the fights…much better for keeping our plea of temporary insanity for when we kill each other.

Okay, we fight.  But we also makeup and we have moments of growth in between fights.  And we both know that the other will be there to ‘bury any bodies without question’ for each other.

Our song is True Love by P!nk:

This song really fits our life.  Mercy knows the good and the bad of me and it’s okay, and vise versa. Continue reading

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Filed under Mercy & Me, Therapy

Addicted to my Pj’s

I’ve said before that I am a great procrastinator, to which some may wrongly think that I am lazy.  I have worked 2-3 jobs at the same time for the majority of my adult life.  In fact, the times where I have only had one job, I always feel like something is missing.

My students asked me the other day how many jobs I have had in my life.  I honestly couldn’t answer the question.  I really can’t remember all of them.  So now I’ll try to search my memory warehouse for the facts.

Starting with the present and working backwards (more or less): Continue reading

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Filed under Therapy, Uncategorized

Why can’t I say I’m sorry?

I started another fight this evening related to the whole festive topic from my last post.  We went and got a tree and decorations the other day.  I wanted to listen to Christmas music while decorating and Mercy was opposed.  After a breakdown where I explained my need for Christmas music and singing in general, Mercy agreed to a limited amount of Christmas music.

So I started putting the tree together and hanging the lights on it.  I plugged in the lights and almost went blind.  We got cool white instead of warm white….huge mistake.  Cool white lights are way too bright for an indoor tree, unless your house always has tons of lights on that would drown out the tree lights.  We tend to have less lights on during the Christmas season due to the tree. Continue reading


Filed under Therapy

Never Done Outing Myself

I’ve been OUT, for over 15 years.  I’ve never been an in-your-face lesbian.  In fact I hardly ever use the word, lesbian.

My original outing was difficult, but not traumatic.  My father took a while to come around, but never stopped talking to me or ever treated my partner poorly.  I once had to set him straight on his thoughts about Mercy, he unjustly thought that Mercy was using me.  This was one argument, but I ended it by storming out of his house and driving away, only to come back 15 minutes later and tore him a new one and then calmly telling him why he was wrong and full of shit.  My dad seemed to come around almost immediately after this fight.  My sister and I stopped talking for about 10 years due to a misunderstanding that surrounded her new ultra conservative church at the time.  We now are great.  About 5 years ago we started talking and we got back to being best friends. Continue reading

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